Ingredients
12 eggs, hard-boiled and peeled
1 (8 oz) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons yellow mustard
1 ½ tablespoons white vinegar
1 teaspoon paprika, plus extra for garnish
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch of black pepper
Pinch of cayenne pepper
2 teaspoons chopped chives, divided
Pickles for garnish, optional
Crackers, pretzels, or vegetable sticks for serving
Instructions
Start with your food processor—mine is older than my marriage but still works. Drop in six of the hard-boiled eggs, whole.
Take the other six, slice them in half, and pluck out the yolks. Into the processor they go. Set the whites aside on the cutting board.
Add cream cheese, mayo, mustard, vinegar, paprika, salt, pepper, cayenne, and about half the chives. Pulse until smooth. (Don’t get lost in the hum of the machine—last time I spaced out, I nearly made egg butter.)
Chop up those reserved egg whites into small pieces—bite-sized, nothing fancy—and fold them into the creamy mixture by hand. This keeps the texture from being one big puree.
Scoop the mixture into a serving bowl. Sprinkle with the rest of the chives and dust with extra paprika. Garnish with pickle slices if you like, though I often forget and no one has ever complained.
Serve with whatever you’ve got handy—crackers, pretzels, celery sticks, even potato chips.
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